I was really enjoying the 50+ degrees of November. And then I turned the calendar and God turned the thermostat down. Brrrrrrrrr. I was hanging up Christmas lights on Monday in gorgeous weather. By Wednesday, we were shoveling snow. I am continually amazed at how quickly we forget what winter means.
Cold weather means...
You will be unable to retrieve a mint from your purse while driving. Why? Because your gloves are so thick and bulky that grasping one of those morsels from its tin is impossible. (I know this because I attempted it this morning. Frustrating.)
Small children suddenly weigh 80 pounds more. Carrying Noah from the van to a building is the equivalent to an intense, hour-long weight room workout. Not only is his extra clothing adding to the weight, but my own puffy coat and gloves tip the scales, too. I am literally panting by the time I get indoors.
Since we're on the topic of children - drop-off and pick-up of my kids at school evokes a strong desire to just back up the U-Haul on school property. Backpacks, water bottles, gloves, hats, earmuffs, boots, homework, library books, show-n-tell items, the neat bubbles they got from the birthday kid, the classroom sink...okay, maybe not the sink, but you get the idea. And all of this stuff is weighing them - oh, who am I kidding?! It's weighing me down, I'm the pack mule for them - while swarms of children run screaming down the halls to the exit. Visualize my kindergartener finally getting a grip on his snowboots only to have a hyper 3rd grader run past and bump them out of his hands. AARRRRRRRRGH! School hallways are painstakingly narrow. We should just buy two sets of everything and leave one at school at all times. Enough with the traipsing back and forth for heaven's sake.
I also forgot how quickly fingers can freeze in 15 degree temps. I think to myself, "Oh, I'm just running into the gym. It's not far." Even if I get a close parking spot my fingers are nearly too numb to pull the door handle.
But what's the point of gloves or mittens anyway? I personally haven't found any that insulate enough to really do the job. I'm sure if I found some they'd be so thick anyway that not only could I not grab a mint, I would be rendered incapable of shifting my vehicle into drive.
Apparently people also forget that when it snows, it is inevitably icy. And that means you can't drive like a maniac anymore.
My outdoor excursions today only included a drive to the gym and back and some trips to school, but on each trip I either came upon a car that had been pulled over for speeding, or an accident due to road conditions. Come on folks. This is no time to put the pedal to the metal.
So the sad fact remains: winter is here. The cold. The snow. The ice. But it's not all bad. Think: Hot cocoa. Toasty fireplaces. Cozy slippers.
And frankly, the farther we are from swimsuit season, the better. After all, I just polished off two Christmas cookies without taking a breath.