Wednesday, January 20, 2010

One thing you WON'T find me a fan of on Facebook.

I'm a fan of many things.

Chocolate, for instance.

Romantic comedies.


And even American Idol.

But one thing I am NOT a fan of is...the common cold.

I'm pretty sure when Adam and Eve took that first bite of forbidden fruit, a cold virus immediately set in. After all, it was the first moment they realized they were naked.

They probably caught a chill.

Next thing you know they're hacking and sneezing.

And now the rest of mankind is cursed with the torture of the common cold.

Lucky us.

It's misery at its finest, because it isn't like the common cold really justifies a day or two confined to bed.

Nope. People expect you to continue in your normal routine. (Just don't shake their hand or cough in their direction.)

You are still expected to go to work, drive the kids to school, finish the laundry and cook three meals a day.

All the while feeling like you've been hit by a truck.

Because let's face it, a cold is a pain in the...head, ears, throat, chest, nose, eyes, well... Everything.

It starts with that tingly feeling in your sinuses. You know the one...when you think maybe if you wash down a bottle of vitamin C tablets with a gallon of orange juice your body will fight back with such vigor that the pesky virus will be gone within the hour.


My experience is that any attempts to naturally medicate only backfire. By the next morning, my head feels six times its normal size, my mouth hangs open so I can breathe, and I never walk away from a box of tissues.

Which brings me to another thought...tissues. Who invented those? Some incredibly wealthy guy named Mr. Kleenix who laughs with joy as he counts his money when winter's cold and flu season rolls around, that's who!

But I digress. Back to this nasty cold. I really hate that it is common. Basically that means you're going to get it and you're going to get it often.

And when the best thing to do to bring it to an end is extra rest, that's exactly when you will be too congested to catch any shut-eye, so you'll be awake for four hours straight in the middle of the night, only to finally nod off...17 minutes before your alarm goes off.

So you'll get up and go to work, take the kids to school, finish the laundry and make three meals that day.

Now repeat this cycle several more times.

Four Kleenix boxes and an empty Tylenol bottle later, you start feeling a bit better.

So you're ready to crawl into bed for a decent night of sleep.

And then...

Just as you are seconds from drifting off into dreamland, you hear, "Mommy? I don't feel good. My throat hurts."

Pass the OJ. It's gonna be a loooong winter.

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